I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I could fuck to npr.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
