So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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