they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
