I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
That accounts for only three of the penises
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
