I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
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Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
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