We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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