Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
