I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
