if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
