do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Semen is not good for contacts.
ttyl tear gas
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Randomize
