oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
