mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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