So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
