My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
