Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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