I'm lost and stupid without you.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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