Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
