My girlfriend figured out who you are.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
