My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
