Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
