I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
