My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
