oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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