I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
