i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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