No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize