And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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