how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
