I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Randomize
