I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
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He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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