Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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