Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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