are you still at the devil's house?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize