I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
