not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
and you fell through a lawn chair
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Randomize
