well most of my day revolves around power hour
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
