Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Drake has all the answers
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
did i just pee glitter
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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