im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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