He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
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