p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
