just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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