Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
They have beer where we have blood.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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