Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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