also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
