I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
When did angry sex become our thing?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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