I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
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