yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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