Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Alive.
So much puke
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
