I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
