Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
