does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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