I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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