you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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