Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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