she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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