If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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