It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Be still, my beating vagina.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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