my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize