Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
birth control should be required to get into college
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
